NOTE:
All English texts below were edited by Sheryl, who owned this short film on punkernose com. And Silly took nice caps:-) I took them all over and re-edited under their permission. Also I think the Quicktime movies were made by CarolynK, thanks so much for! Enjoy, everyone! - Carinya

これは超レア物。タイトルはChili Con Carne Club(チリ・コン・カーン・クラブ略してCCCC)。仲良しのアメリカのメルファンSherylがオークションで激戦の末、競り落としたメルが出演してるショートフィルムだ。彼女のサイトにあったものを閉鎖に伴い、彼女の依頼と了承の元にここに移した。たぶんここ以外では見られないと思うので、世界中のメルファンのためにSherylの原文も長いけど省略しないでそのまま載せた。

これはアメリカン・フィルム・インスティテュート(AFI)の学生、ジョナサン・カーンが1993年3月に製作し、賞をとったもので一般公開はされてない。
メルの出てるシーンはほんの少しとはいえ、これまでどこにも記述されてないものだけに大変貴重なものだと言える。 献辞の中にリチャード・ドナーとジョエル・シルバー(リーサルウェポンシリーズ）の名がある事からどうもその関係でメルが協力したのでは。また上記二人およびメルがこの映画学校で講演をしたのが確かこの頃。
テーマは冒頭の主人公ピートの独白で表される。最後の3語を読んだら.....きっと笑うだろう!

"My name's Pete Connolly, and I have a beautiful girlfriend and she's everything a man could want. A lot of guys think that having a relationship is a terminal condition. Guys ... it isn't true ... it's just not true. A good relationship requires balance. And ifyou understand women, then you're walking the high ground, and I am walking the high ground. I've finally learned what women want."

30分間の映画の真ん中あたりピートが監獄に入ってる時に新顔が入ってくる。そしてペラペラ一人でしゃべってフレームアウト。それがメルだ。
メルの演技は....Sherylの感想(下に彼女の原文がズラーっと。詳しい解説も。訳さなくてごめん！^^;)によると；
「いままでの彼のどれとも違う...ダークで気紛れで...でも「ペイバック」でのメルとも違う。何ていったらいいかうまく説明できないけど、とにかく違う....」そうだ。私もそう思った。なんていうか投げやりな.....。
これくらいの長さならインターネット上でも配信できるし、優秀な映画だと思うのでできたら字幕をつけて日本でも上映して欲しいと思う！
メルが出てる部分のQuicktimeムービー(2本)を載せてあるので、下にスクロールしてリンクをクリックしてせめてこれで楽しんで。

It was apparently done at the American Film Institute - Opening credits read...

The American Film Institute Presents....
A Tony Lord production....
A Jonathon Kahn Film

I would assume it was a student project? It has kind of an amateurish feel to it, but the quality is still pretty good (better than SC LOL!). The eBay listing said Mel probably took the roll as a favor to the producer. It's dated March 31, 1993, which puts it about the time of LW3. It's based on a story called "The Cooler" but it must be either a short story or an unpublished work because I can't find it anywhere.

There's probably not much chance that this film will ever be abundatnly available, but I thought I'd put a SPOILER WARNING here, anyway. So here's the story (I practically transcribed Mel's parts, so I'll share those in more detail)....

Basically the story is about the lead character, Pete Connolly (John Philbin), learning to understand women. Sound familiar? LOL! The opening monologue goes like this:

"My name's Pete Connolly, and I have a beautiful girlfriend and she's everything a man could want. A lot of guys think that having a relationship is a terminal condition. Guys ... it isn't true ... it's just not true. A good relationship requires balance. And ifyou understand women, then you're walking the high ground, and I am walking the high ground. I've finally learned what women want."

[Upon hearing those last three words, I promptly choked and spit diet coke across my living room!]

Cut to Pete at a party, and his girlfriend Julie (Kristy Swanson) catches him making out with another woman - he doesn't find this out until the next morning when breaks up with him saying he doesn't understand her. Just after she leaves, there's a knock at the door. Pete answers and there are two "cop types" who ask if he's Pete Connolly. He says yeah, and one of the "cops" reads from something like a warrant, "Pete Connolly, 27 -- dumped." The other "cop" drags him out of the apartment.

Cut to -- the "cops" throwing Pete into what at first looks like a big jail holding cell with lots of other men of all ages. There are bars and locks, but it's quickly seen that it's not a typical "jail" - there's a bar and plenty of beer around, pool tables, free weights, poker games, stogies, TVs, and a bowling alley can be heard off camera. They're all wearing only tank-type undershirts and matching boxers.

The other men, who we quickly learn are others who've been "dumped," greet Pete by name (he's apparently been here before) - and try to cheer him up by telling him he's better off without Julie, and, hey - Chili Con Carne is on the menu every night! This is The Chili Con Carne Club. No one wants to leave this "prison" - except Pete. Everyone else has given up on women altogether.

The scenes cut back and forth between the CCCC and Pete's "real" life, where he's working to try to get back into Julie's good graces. But every time he screws up, he gets dropped back into the CCCC.

The second time he's back in the CCCC, there's a commotion behind him, and two guards open the locked jail-type door.

"Take it easy!" a new inmate with his back to us says sounds agitated as the guards struggle to put the resisting prisoner in the cell.

The guard responds, "I don't give a damn who ya are, ok? Just get in there, alright?" The guard shoves the guy into the cell, and into Pete, who grabs the new guy.

The new guy spins around and grabs Pete by shirt, and we see that the new guy looks exactly like Mel (ok, so you figured that out already). In fact, according to the credits, the new guy's character's name IS Mel. And he is also wearing only boxers and an undershirt [the shots of Mel, except for a short glimpse, are all upper body, but his biceps are bulging as he's holding on to Pete's shirt, and I drooled all over the remote that I practically wore out rewinding, replaying, and pausing during this scene].

He is very hyper, and talks 90 miles an hour at Pete. "What's your problem, Pal? Eh? You a repeat offender? You down here, too? What's your story, Pal? Wanna hear mine? Heh? I wined her, I dined her, all my hard earned sweat and blood trying to make happy [my note - on the word "happy" he's gritting his teeth, so that particular word came out as more of a deep growl, which caused me to need to change my pants], and what does she do? She throws me on the human garbage pile! I'm refuse, Pal, and so are you - don't you forget it." [his acting in this whole scene, IMO, is not anything like anything else he's done. It's kind of dark and moody, but not in the same way as Payback - I can't really explain it, it's just different.]

Mel lets go of Pete and walks off. Off-screen another "inmate" yells "Guess who's back, boys!" (apparently Mel's been there before, too LOL!). Also off-screen, Mel says in a now happy-go-lucky kind of sing-song tone, "Is my toothbrush still here?" [Sounded a lot like Riggs when he said that line. LOL!)

At about this point there's an announcement from someone off-screen that the Stooges marathon starts in 15 minutes - can't help but wonder if that was Mel's idea. LOL!
A while later, after Pete has tried to win Julie back and once again got dumped back in the CCCC, Pete is talking to Mel. They're leaning against a brick wall, Mel facing left, puffing on a stogie. The conversation goes:

PETE: "I don't really know exactly what happened, that's my problem. I mean, things were going great, then she just dumps me."

MEL (in a growly sort of voice, and sounding slightly amused): "The bitch really burned ya, huh?"

PETE: "Totally burned me -- I don't know why. I thought everything was going fine. I go back, I try to see her, she doesn't wanna see me -- doesn't seem to care anymore [Mel is losing interest in the conversation - playing with the stogie] [so nonchalant and truly "Mel-ish" if you know what I mean. Examining the thing, blowing ashes off the end of it. LOL! totally adorable].

I can't get to her - I'm tryin too....I wanna show her that I care about her [Mel scratches his face, rubs his eyes, getting bored]...and...I don't know....I don't know what to do...I try all the old things...you know, the flowers..." [Mel rubs his torso, gives a big yawn, not really paying attention to Pete anymore]

MEL (in the middle of a yawn): "Yeah...sure am sorry for ya, kid." [tiredly pats Pete on the shoulder and walks away like he's got no particular place to go, but just doesn't wanna hang around Pete anymore]

Throughout the film, we see that while Pete is doing the "real life" part, the inmates watch him on a monitor (or at times, a bunch of monitors) In one of these instances, the camera pans from the monitor to Mel, who's smoking a stogie (still? again?) and watching Pete with disinterest.

Gradually, Pete begins to gain understanding and win Julie back, and as the inmates are watching on the monitors, suddenly not only Pete, but also Julie are dropped into the CCCC.

She looks confused, and the inmates shrink against the walls and turn their heads away in fear of the woman - Mel is cowaring under a table [the film is a bit dark here, so I had to rewind it a couple times to be sure it was him - he's on his hands and knees under this table and kind of leans forward a bit on his hands and tentatively peeks out like he's afraid something's gonna get him] Pete tries unsuccessfully to convince the others that there's nothing to be afraid of, and he's also showing Julie where he's been - sharing with her his feelings and the pain he's been through at the thought of losing her.

He says he won't give up on them and asks her not to leave him here. They embrace, and [cut to] the same embrace, but the CCCC is gone - they're on a beach. As they walk, Julie is saying stuff like he'll have to learn to do dishes...and no football. Pete hesitates, not sure if she's serious or not. Julie giggles and runs ahead of him, and he runs after her.

Cut to a close up of Pete, repeating the same speech from the beginning except for the last sentence: "I've finally learned what women want......I think."

The End

Sheryl, 2000

year: completed 1993
running time: 30 minutes
awards : CINE Golden Eagle Award and Schaffner Award

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